By David Mangene, 27 March 2020, Utrecht – The Netherlands.
Right. Here’s what I know:
- Today, Friday (you had to think about that one, am I right?), you will wear sweat pants or pyjamas until well into the evening.
- You will check your phone 1,242,817 times.
- the vast majority of those phone checks will relate in some way to the C-word.
- you will search your brain for ways to creatively endure this crisis.
- Mostly, you will fail at finding ways to creatively endure this crisis and then you will hit the bottle with a vengeance. It’s always 5:00 o’clock in Dublin, know wadda mean?
But guess what kids, fret no more. For your Uncle David has done the thinking for you. Check this:
What about if you use all this downtime, all this scrolling internet time, to improve your English? Worry not my friend, for in addition to doing American English lessons with me, you’ll still have plenty of time to watch cat videos, make tik-tok movies or peruse, shall we say, erotic entertainment (I read this morning that Pornhub’s business has never been better. Ha! We are, after all, a species enslaved to the lizard brain. I read that fun fact on Twitter btw, because the erotic entertainment site doesn’t have articles, ahem.)
So yes, I want to start teaching my American English lessons online a.s.a.p. I am posting this today because I’d like to see if people are interested in my offer. If you are reading this and you think, “yes, I would like to postpone my erotic entertainment / cat videos / cabinet scrubbing by taking English lessons from David”, please leave a comment. You would be helping me a great deal if you did.
I haven’t worked out the details yet. I will be doing that over the weekend. This post is simply a preliminary feeler. Next week I’ll post the specifics of my offer.
We gotta do something to pass the time until the world opens back up on Easter Sunday! Send me an email at email@example.com if you feel the need. Thank you! .